December marks the end of my first bullet journal; My teal Leuchtturm 1917 that I carried around with me since February. For December 1st, I will start using my Scribbles That Matter dot grid journal. Both are dot grid journals because of the flexibility that it provides.
Within many journal groups and communities people ask, how do you start. Well, basically, you just start getting words on the page. When I started my first journal, it was not pretty! Far from it actually. As you can see from the images, with the smudging and ghosting, it was
ugly visually unappealing. This was all I needed. A place to get my thoughts down and a place to remember what needed to happen. Looking back at those pages, I recall how hard and stressful those days were, in both my work life and home life. So many unknowns and uncontrollable variables. My journal became my tether to what’s important to me – a sense of control.
The Journaling Process
As mentioned in previous posts, in August I started to branch out and find a new community. A wonderful, supportive, encouraging community filled with inspiration and, surprisingly, honesty (as honest as Instagram can get). You can see that change in my journal. Suddenly, I was trying new things and adding colour to the page. This was the start of healing from the past and accepting what life is now. Again, I’ve mentioned before, I never envisioned being a stay at home mom and I’ve been fighting that for a while.
But, as I flip through my journal, I get to reflect on what has happened the last 10 months and realize that I am starting to accept it. I’m accepting the reality of my situation – both the positives (which are a lot more than I am letting on), and what I consider to be the negatives. Being a stay at home mom is the hardest thing I have ever done. And that is okay! I’m accepting that there are bad days (and man are they bad!) but appreciating the good days. I’m starting to let go of trying to control everything. Not everything always is or has to be perfect. Sometimes it’s just acceptable to get it on the page! As much as I have regained my creative side, I will be reminding myself that it’s okay when things just need to get on the page!
So, at the end of the day, the BEST part of this whole journaling process has been the unintentional memory-keeping that transpired! I now can look back at this journal and remember this time in my life and reflect how it influenced my present. This whole process has just blown me away. So much so that come January 2018, I will be starting a memory keeping journal for my family, outside of my bullet journaling. My bullet journaling is for me and my self-care therefore, I’m excited to have a specific space to record the wisdom and musings of a three year old, as well as adventures and mishaps. Space that I will be comfortable sharing with everyone.
So keep expecting to see my mishaps and rabbit holes that I find. As always, thank you for reading and sharing this journey with me.